Is she okay?

Imurann · Post by **Imurann** » 2007-12-13 02:32

Quoted from: http://www.jvcmusic.co.jp/maaya/id/index.html

『さいごの果実』　

私は、いつも探してばかりだ。

たぶん、私だけじゃなくみんなそうだ。
理由を、原因を、仕組みを、真実を。
いつもいつも、知りたくて、探している。

それを知ろうとすることは、楽じゃなくて、むしろしんどいことであって、だからもうそんなもの忘れてしまいたいと思うこともある。でも、「知りたい」という願望からは一生逃れられないことはわかっている。

それに、いつか見つけることができるとは、実はあまり思っていなかったりもする。見つけたつもりが、またすぐ見失う。何度も繰り返すことになる。そんな終わりない追いかけっこに一生つきあう覚悟は、なんとなくある。

ヒントはあちこちに落ちていて、集めながら答えに近づいていく。でも、いつも優しい手触りのものばかりじゃない。いっぱい怪我をして、くじけそうになるんで、いちいち疲れる。少しふてくされてから、また追いかける。

それでも知りたい、愛するって、生きてくって、結局どんなこと？
どこまでいっても永遠にひとりぼっちだとわかってるのに、誰かのそばにいたいと思う気持ちはいったい何なの？
いつまでも変わらない永遠と、変わり続ける一瞬って、どこが違うの？

その答えが、もしも私の望んだかたちのものと違っても、受け止めるつもりで聞いてみる。
心の底から「教えて」とつぶやくとき、世界が何も言わずにただうなずくような感覚が、ある。

＊maaya＊　

:3 I'm worried.

Post by **kirei_lanford** » 2007-12-13 09:02

what? what?
i can't read those kinda words.. i even more worried than u!!

omg.. hope something bad isn't on those paragraphs..

Post by **dillpops** » 2007-12-13 10:21

Wonder if she broke up with her boyfriend :odd: there's nothing specific, she's just going on about how we're all alone but we want to love and the answers we find hurt us over and over again but we carry on etc. etc.

Kaimugen · Post by **Kaimugen** » 2007-12-13 10:57

It's a sad sort of message. Maybe it is a friend or boyfriend Dilly or she's just feeling really down. It doesn't sound like something you would write about family. Considering how quiet she is about her private life this is quite unusual.

Post by **kirei_lanford** » 2007-12-13 11:21

well thk god there's nothing wrong about her,,

yet, if she sad then we all could be sad.. i hope it's not a really serious thing. cheer up maaya-san!! :roll:

initially i would be glad if she means she broke up with mamo or other guy,, but if she became that sad, that i would wish it didn't happened.. like i said,, maaya has grow to mature. I do wish for her a new life, a family life, would sprout anytime soon. She just can't be single all the time! It just made me wanna cry thinking that considering another woman that i adore had that kinda life before and i real very pity for her..

Imurann · Post by **Imurann** » 2007-12-14 11:04

' sai go no kajitsu '

watashi ha, itsumo sagashi te bakari da.

tabun, watashi dake ja naku minna sou da.
riyuu o, genin o, shikumi o, shinjitsu o.
itsumo itsumo, shiri taku te, sagashi te iru.

sore o shiro u to suru koto ha, raku ja naku te, mushiro shindoi koto de atte, dakara mou sonna mono wasure te shimai tai to omou koto mo aru. demo, ' shiri tai ' toiu ganbou kara ha isshou nogare rare nai koto ha wakatte iru.

soreni, itsuka mitsukeru koto ga dekiru to ha, jitsuha amari omotte i nakattari mo suru. mitsuke ta tsumori ga, mata sugu miushinau. nan do mo kurikaesu koto ni naru. sonna tsui warinai oi kakekko ni isshou tsukiau kakugo ha, nantonaku aru.

hinto ha achikochi ni ochi te i te, atsume nagara kotae ni chikadui te iku. demo, itsumo yasashii tezawari no mono bakari ja nai. ippai kega o shi te, kujike sou ni naru nde, ichiichi tsukareru. sukoshi futekusare te kara, mata oikakeru.

soredemo shiri tai, aisuru tte, iki te kutte, kekkyoku donna koto ?doko made itte mo eien ni hitori bocchi da to wakatteru noni, dare ka no soba ni i tai to omou kimochi ha ittai nani na no ? itsu made mo kawara nai eien to, kawari tsudukeru isshun tte, doko ga chigau no ?

sono kotae ga, moshimo watashi no nozon da katachi no mono to chigatte mo, uketomeru tsumori de kii te miru.

kokoro no soko kara ' oshie te ' to tsubuyaku toki, sekai ga nani mo iwa zu ni tada unazuku you na kankaku ga, aru.

* maaya *

* google translation * which is rather gibberish. read romaji!

She had questions in her mind, just probably someone triggered it, or as how she said "that voice" in her heart telling her something. But then again, anyone else probably experiences this as well.

Usually this is the part where an old man / woman would go up to her and pats* then give a piece of advice. Maybe she's looking for that all along?

Post by **dillpops** » 2007-12-14 11:10

I recommed everyone learns Japanese XD

Post by **Merri** » 2007-12-17 20:51

When is our exam? Who pays for the classes?

Kaimugen · Post by **Kaimugen** » 2007-12-18 02:23

[quote="Merri"]When is our exam? Who pays for the classes?[/quote]

Your exam was lask week, didn't you mark your calendar? F-

Oh, and you're late on your class fees.

Who is the most senior japanese student? I've only had 1 1/2 years. So Dilly? Frecklegirl? Fancy a go at tutoring? We could post our essays on Maaya's for critique.

Post by **dillpops** » 2007-12-18 12:35

Frecklegirl has a couple of years on me

When you said exam I was like 'oh crap did I miss something??!?!' haha!

frecklegirl · Post by **frecklegirl** » 2007-12-21 22:52

I'm a really bad teacher, I get too impatient when people don't immediately get things like I do (in terms of foreign languages which generally come easily to me). So I refuse to teach. I don't want anyone to get mad at me. XD

Also, since this entry is titled 'Saigo no Kajitsu', maybe she's talking more about the message of the song than actual personal-life details? (In fact, she even uses some lines from the song in this entry.)

frecklegirl · Post by **frecklegirl** » 2007-12-22 00:28

I decided to translate it because it might be important to understanding the song (since I couldn't find one of those things on Youtube that's a short video of Maaya talking about what the song means, etc, like there was for Kazemachi Jet. I bet there's some interviews, or even something from the latest IDS, where she talks about the song's meaning, and if someone could put those up that would be great, but as this is all I have for now, it's worth translating).

The Last Fruit

I do nothing but search.

It’s probably not just me but everyone.
For reasons, for causes, for plans, for truth.
We’re always, always searching and wanting to know.

In seeking out that knowledge, it’s not easy, but rather tiresome, so we soon think that we want to forget all about it. And yet, I know that throughout our lives we can never escape that desire called “I want to know.”

Moreover, the truth is we don’t really think about being able to find it someday. We plan to find it, but soon enough we lose sight. And this happens over and over. Somehow or other we resign ourselves to having that kind of unending game of chase throughout our lives.

We keep getting closer to answers while gathering hints that have been dropped here and here. And yet, it’s never just kind touches. Getting hurt a lot, breaking down, one by one we tire of it all. Because we get a little sulky, we chase after it again.

Despite all that, we want to know – “loving,” “living on,” what kinds of things are those after all?
Though we know that no matter how far we go we’re alone for eternity, what is it with these feelings of thinking we want to be with someone?
What’s the difference between a perpetually-constant eternity and a moment that continues to change?

Maybe it’s even that the answer is different from the shape of what I wished for, and is just trying to listen with an open ear.
When I murmur “Tell me” from the bottom of my heart, I feel like the world seems to simply nod its head without saying anything.

*maaya*

Honestly, I don't think this means Maaya is/was depressed (it's simply a contemplative entry with strong connections to the song), and seriously, the fanboys of this forum go a little crazy getting concerned over Maaya's moods sometimes.

Post by **Megumi** » 2007-12-22 02:22

I understand nothing at all XD

Kaimugen · Post by **Kaimugen** » 2007-12-22 03:18

We worry because we care.

frecklegirl · Post by **frecklegirl** » 2007-12-22 08:20

[quote="Megumi"]I understand nothing at all XD[/quote]

Tu préfères une traduction française ? XD