・・・I.D. Koujou Iinkai (I.D. Improvement Committee) ： 1999.11.26
"I.D" is the title of this page, but it was also used as the title of the first track of my second album "DIVE".
Since then I've come to like the word, and the title of my radio programme (currently airing on NACK5!) is also "I.D.". "I.D. Improvement Committee" is a phrase that came up on my radio programme, but I don't really get it.
I think it refers to me and my staff discussing the improvement of the programme.
So, since this page is also titled "I.D.", it's a joint committee that bolsters the other.
I'm going to convey many things through this page to everyone, so, please, check back often.
Now, "I.D." means identity, and I recall learning it during a high school class. But at that time, I read it and didn't understand it very well, but I think it was an important word, to the extent that it would come up on tests. And now, I think about "identity".
Every day I attend university while also working. It was the same for me during elementary school, middle school, and high school. So it doesn't really feel difficult to me. On the contrary, the busier I am, the more I feel like doing homework, and I think work and school work well as a combination for me. However, if there's one thing that trips me up, it's all the different "faces" I have at each place. My face at the theatre, my face as a singer, my face as a student, my face as a young woman. All of them are definitely me, but they all differ slightly, without a conscious effort on my part. It's the question that everyone contemplates at least once: "What is my true self?"
I have also struggled with this question. The me I think I am, the me people see me as, the me I want to be, the me people want me to be .... I have thought that there is a gap between all of these things. If I say something like, "I'm not myself" -- well, I don't really know what is like myself. Nonetheless, people will say things like that to me, as if they knew everything about me.
One time, I wrote some lyrics. I was at a lake among the mountains. At night, I went outside to breathe in the outdoor air. And it was very dark, and all I could see were the stars. As I stared at the stars, it seemed as if they were increasing in number. I'm small. The sky is big. And then it all came to me. Those lyrics became the song "I.D."
This doesn't mean that I resolved anything, just that I felt that I had been able to accept all of myself. Which one is the true me? -- the true me is ultimately none other than the me that is here now.
Within my various selves I hold "I.D.". Put simply, no matter how pitiable my current self is, no matter how much I dislike it, that is the true me.
So, I have to improve that pitiable self. Thus you could say that "I.D. Improvement Committee" is a committee for improving myself. No matter what people think, I want to live for myself.
I want to make myself happy. In order to do that, I want to improve myself and enjoy life.
Then, I also want to make other people happy, but I will talk about that another time ....
I look forward to my next theme.
See you again.
・・・I.D. Koujou Iinkai (I.D. Improvement Committee)： 1999.12.10
Here we are again. It's December, so the topic is December. Easy. Still, writing this will difficult. I don't really have much of a connection with December.
I've never felt December to be that busy. I think that when I'm a full-fledged member of society, I'll feel it, but I'm still a student. But if pressed, I would say that when a lot of construction begins to take place, I think, "Ah, it's December."
Now, as for songs that make me think of December, it's Unicorn's "Yuki ga Furu Machi". (”Town Where It's Snowing")
I listen to this song at the end of every year.
I've liked Unicorn for a long time. I wonder if I heard them for the first time in middle school. I think it was elementary school. I also listen to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/Tamio_Okuda">Okuda Tamio</a>-san's songs a lot. I love them. When I was a high school student, on the way to school I would always pass this CD store, and in the window there was a poster of Okuda-san. I really wanted it, and I even planned to hang it in my classroom. So I went in the CD store and made a request to the clerk. "If you ever get rid of that poster, I'd like to have it," I said. But they told me that someone had already reserved it. It was really too bad. Okuda-san is really popular.
Music and memory are deeply connected. I think that everyone has a song that brings back memories when they listen to it. In my case, my elementary school memory song is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Hearts">Blue Hearts</a>' "Aozora". My middle school song is Queen's "Somebody to Love", and my high school song is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chara_%28s ... hara</a>'s "Break These Chains". By the way, my number one love memory song is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matsutoya_Yumi">Matsutouya Yumi'</a>s "HELLO MY FRIEND". It makes me remember.
However, when I think of how people are listening to my songs and having memories associated with them, it's strange. To think that there are hundreds of memories attached to my songs, and, because of that, everyone will hear those songs in very different ways.
This has strayed from the theme of December, but, anyway, my pattern every year is to spend Christmas leisurely with "Yuki ga Furu Machi". Rather than thinking of this as a busy season, it's actually the most relaxed, free time for me. In mid-December my holiday begins, so I go shopping, see movies, see plays ....
I also have a lot of plans with friends this year.
I wonder if I'll start to think of December as busy when I become an adult.
Now, in December my CD goes on sale, "Single Collection Hachipochi". There's a lot of stuff on it.
It's the crystal of my teen years. It's my treasure. Please listen to it.
Look forward to it.