Maaya's.net

My list of why I liked myself?
1. I'm egoistic
2. I feel evil sometimes (like thinking of eating Mc'Chicken Burger while having sex - lol wtf)
3. I tend to like weird events, and weird friends (they makes me energetic)
4. I like to stress myself over something meaningless to others, (like aunt's words)
5. I liked myself mostly because I'm a good listener.
6. Dependable, else I will say sorry if I did something wrong.
7. Thankful, as I would thank someone for their hard efforts (either to entertain me, or help me out)
8. Holistic, even as how evil I could become, my link with the heavens is still there, but hey, how evil can I be anyway..?
9. I liked myself most because I still believe and trust God even to the bitter / sweet end, that in life, only He could able to teach me something of my expectations and worth.
10. That I still kept my promises, even if it is broken, tampered, or even taken away from me. Reason? I tend to see the world as a simple plane of land, that I was birth in a micro form when I was a fetus, and even as I grew up, I knew I had a reason to keep a promise to someone. *evil grins*


Thursday, today. I'm going to make things clear with her, hopefully to understand what are her intentions and feelings were. I had a dream of her today as well. I hope she could accept a weird friend as I am. I doubt the dark side ever makes a mistakes, I bet my life he would not make one mistake like this. My brother tells me, songs were made of elements which links with your wavelength, and some songs may work for you, and others don't. If it does, it will link up with your soul. It's a devilish game, songs were. According to my plan, I probably end it soon enough. Gonna Shift-Delete my Mp3 folder, along with all that crap that I've put up with until today.

"Time, As mankind is concerned, they are always at lost.. except for only the people of kind hearted, and those whom spread words of love needlessly" - the Book of Time.

Okay now that you have a idea of what you like abut yourself, thee are your tools. These are what you present, these are your seeling points. Play them up.

Its past thursday, did you talk to her? Please remember that no man can attract every woman. For example brad pitt is regarded as attractive, but I bet I can find at least 1,000 women on this earth that says he is ugly. So no many can be attractive to every woman, but there is a woman who will be attracted to you, or something about you...

Please post what happened with her, okay?

Jigen, gonna use new writing method
yes it's true, all true..


Was leaning by the glass doors of my cooperate university (lobby) just beside her that evening, it was raining, many people were around on that Thursday. As I thought, she was there somewhere.

At first she saw me, and made as if she did not see me.. or so to say, I think she is not used with me, I mean.. maybe because of her shyness. I wonder why sometimes.. my friend was there, but I asked him to give me 5 minutes.. meanwhile my other classmates were nearby asking ("how was it with that girl?".. I just replied, "not that very well..") I just pushed myself to approach her, never once she approach me.. even as we had more than enough conversation together. I greeted her by her name, and smiled a little. I just stand near by her leaning on the glass doors, just like her.. and asked her a few things about the day. I wanted to ask her that question.. "was I a bother to you?" she said "no" .. such a weird friend she was to me, little as she was physically even her voice is hard to hear.

As the rain clears..

I did halfway walked her to the train station, and asked her "this morning, I seen you and some of your friends were laughing while I was there, what was that all about?" she giggled.. wanted to asked her phone number, and so I asked her "Do you want my number?" she replied "Just write it down somewhere" I answered, "alright". And we went different paths (Kotomichi)

The next morning, (accidently met her during one of my meetings with my team members) I sent to her one of my USB (which I found) containing some of the songs that I have tried translate, with my personal sidelines notes in it. Just a few selected songs which I liked to listen to. My phone number is in a text file in it, I didn't tell her though about it.

I think she is a Buddhist, and we are different in our beliefs.. that's one thing is for sure. But I'm going to ask her anyway sooner or later.. this week and next week are the busiest, and exams is just after that. Something that made me smile was, my first letter that I wrote in a piece of torn out paper was "May peace be upon you", I still laughed about it until today, and it has been a month I known her.

I've been getting bad ratings from all of my friends over there, so I guess it's a good chance that me and her could actually be close friends. Still I knew.. even without any sort of communication, without calls or even plans to meet, nor without promises, I still can able to see her. Its weird.. I wonder whom she really is to me. She doesn't seems like to be someone on a normal level, yet it just could be me overrating everything. I'm too kind in my thoughts, yet it is the core of my own stupidity. Being negative is one.. yet having a contradictory feelings is another. "Hito wa omoeba?"




[Update 21st October]
I just met her again today, have a simple chit-chat with her.. even asked her some things she likes, hmm.. she did opened up a little, even talked with me on the things she likes to do at home, back in her hometown,.. god.. it's leeching from the internet -_-" that girl is one from my circle, extended circle. Remember what she tells me "1 Terra bytes is not even enough.." rofl, those were sweet words indeed to my ears XD

I should spend the next two years knowing her better as a friend, she's an interesting person. lol I even gave an evil laugh while beside her when one of her classmates were talking to her. Oh.. next stop, she did accept my offer of some of my stuffs from my rig.. indeed, a leecher XD and hardcore one at it.

Maybe similar people attracts each other? that what's going on in my mind. Oh about the songs.. she said, it does have some meaning to her.. but I guess, as a friend.. meh, not a true Maaya / Yuho fan. Still, hearing she said "I listen to techno songs" I guess, Furi Kuri would do it

Wait, what is techno again? XD

"My little friend".. said Imu.

the strategy to get near a girl.. it's something i never learn..

the music strategy u told me, imu-san.. well, i think you're very lucky there that the girl, at least, tried listening the song.. *or reading the lyric commentary you made*

here, it's really hard to find someone that likes japanese music,, and it's even harder to find someone that has interest with deep music.. there's this girl right now,, i dunno if i like her or not, but at least she has that aura that i like from a girl. again, i can't really explained it, combination of the way she talks and sounds, her body language, her mimic expressions etc.. but i'm still not sure if i really fell on her..

the problem it's really hard to find a chance to meet. she works in the same company as me, just like the previous girl i told before.. *that i consider as a just a friend, right now*,, but from different division and i really have no excuse to suddenly visit the place she works,, so then we only communicate by ym.

found that she likes music,, so i tried to lure her with some bait.. just to find out if she likes japanese music or not,, and her respond is like.. blank. like she didn't care at all.

there goes the 1st strategy.

and anyway, there's this tendency inside me.. whenever i found a girl that dislike j-music and even make fun of it.. then her value is drop in front of me.. not that i wouldn't like her just becoz of that.. only it could lowered my motivation to get near the person. like my first lady did.,, *and in fact one of the stupid reasons why we're not meeting anymore* Actually it's not that i'm too picky,, it just comes from inside me. Hopefully i could change the way i think and be more thoughtful. :roll:

but to entirely separating this issue with every relationship??

it's not use.. truthfully, i can't really hide my true self.. mybe i could stop saying about j-music topics for,, a week, two weeks.. but after that?? i'm not a robot. soon she'll find out my true self, so i guess it's no use of hiding myself.

@imu-san
you're not far from me.. easily worried with what people thinks about you.. that they're whispering about how lame u are or whatever it might be,, It's a kind of personality. you shouldn't think it's a weakness.. it's just one of those characteristic that people have.

if you're that scared, then i suggest you to ask her friend,, just her closest friend would do. its' like,, "what do you think if i go out with her??",, or sort of that,, and hear her respond. that if you brave enough..

in my case, the girl that i like does have a friend,, and perhaps she wouldn't mind if i asked about things to her. the problem is

i have a feeling that she likes me *this close friend of her*,,

and since i dun have the same feeling towards the girl,, asking private things about my target girl would just hurting her. something i never liked at all.. to hurt a girl.

that is my guess is right, though..

but imu-san,, how about u? do you know a close friend of her?? try asking the girl's opinion *i'm assuming it's a girl too* and also things that your target girl likes and dislikes. It may be really helpful.

,, i forgot to say. there's one more HUGE problem. she's christian,, and as you probably know, i'm a moslem. so, a cross of belief.[/size]

@jigen
why i liked myself??

1. i never yell at people, or show my anger boldly.
2. sometimes,, just sometimes, i'm a thoughtful person :lol:
3. i dun have a cute face, but i like the way i look.. *though sometimes looked a little bit scary* :evil:
4. i rarely ignored people if he/she is speaking, although it's not necessary to always look to their eyes.
5. i could easily made almost every girl embarrassed,, if i look her :evil: *although im not sure it's good for the girl or not*

end of line.. i'm exhausted.

All your base belongs to us "were're all F#$%I%^ Idiots!" say it aloud, and it really changes your day a bit

Hey, still I remembered that once I was soo carefree than I didn't really bother about what is really happening around me, like a small child lost in a playground, just keep taking on what interest me the most, and jumping around like a insane kid. Maaya also had that kind of side, remember the Honeycome PV? very much carefreeness too the max.

Watashi wa Maaya mou, obaka desu! XD yay! let's get married soon! yay! - those were the words I always wanted to say all my life.. only Idiots can smile the best XD


@Kirei, I am her best friend now..
I don't that that there are others in my campus whom are XD

I do not intend to play around with love anymore, only the ones whom are serious then only I'll pay attention. Idiots should just be friends and smile a lot together that is enough, sorede ii..

About difference of religious thoughts? I don't think it's a barrier.. even I learned most of my country's major religions (usually those honest ones in their own religion are very-very humble people) and they can cope within each other easily. I think there was a speech about it somewhere, because even in ours, there are many sort of levels, that only the pure-hearted ones are only considered true. And most of them are not that closed-hearted, but even more open minded than you could think off. It's your naiveness Kirei, you need to be a little more *ebil* just a bit will do.

From what I understand, the space and time-fold of love is limitless, even not bounded by any sort of religious themes. Intermarriage is common. Billions of people does it. But.. I cant force you or anything.. I know, of human limitations.. I know it very well. Just pick a girl whom you see preferable, girls are.. like entertainers for men, they do stuffs for us XD and we *give* them happiness back *love* and little children XD *stop blushing there girls!* /gg

Call yourself an Idiot first, then smile then shout it out, so everyone else smiles

Well as long as you are getting closer to your love, then I need to say nothing else...

About the religion thing... one of the hardest things to overcome. I think it will be tough, but love conquers all.

But please continue to write about your days... I love to read. I'm cheering for both of you guys!

Jigen, do you sometimes feels insecure.. as in, feels that life just isn't fair to you and her.. sometimes during the evenings, when watching the sunset.. I had that feelings.. like, things may go wrong.. or maybe it has gone wrong, but we're still here, and surviving.. like feeling alone, and in fear that of separation, or getting hurt?

The girls in this thread are quite a silent one, don't you think.. I wonder if they just want to observe.. don't be shy, we're harmless.. don't share your real name and address XD and write anything that cross your mind.

I KNOW.. that almost 90% of girls are insecure, and have something to say about this. It could help us boys to be more reliable if we know about what the girls really wants.. or feel..

I knew of one cure.. but I think I'm only sharing it with a single person, a friend of mine, but as I assumed.. it is too temporary, as we live in a distance. I might drop down her place everyday if we are neighbors.. but too bad, we're not.. sometimes it is a month.. some times it is a few months.. but.. not sure, if the nights will befall us or not.

Hope that some girls would share her thoughts with us on this, especially if she knows, as in experienced what it is like to be insecure.. during the past.


~@_@~

FYI, during our last meeting.. the final date for bachelor'ism is out, due 2011. I wish could share it with everyone I know.. if you want to come down for a brief holiday in our hot country, during that time and month, I'll arrange something. Maybe, if you guys want to cosplay, we could do a cosplay event during the night XD, and anime karaoke as well.

Friday, 11th November 2011. We'll have the fun events on the 12th, if it really-really happens that is XD

If that other girl is observing, there should be a response from her as well due to this decision..[/size]

mybe they're not shy or anything,, but yeah, as we all know, girls here write less than the three of us do. well, at least you. take a look at previous pages,, and yeah,, they wrote. only, lately it's only the three of us. wondering why kai, sakura or freckle hasn't posted lately,, mybe it's because we're too noisy haha.

Maybe we should talk more about them, rather than ourself.. I mean lesser guy stuffs XD

I wonder, did you girls here have a pair of lingerie up in your closet? was it expensive?..

iina.. I like looking at girls whom wear them, donno why.. XD

[quote="Imurann"]Jigen, do you sometimes feels insecure.. as in, feels that life just isn't fair to you and her.. sometimes during the evenings, when watching the sunset.. I had that feelings.. like, things may go wrong.. or maybe it has gone wrong, but we're still here, and surviving.. like feeling alone, and in fear that of separation, or getting hurt?
[/quote]

I just want to adress this part.

YES, I feel insecure all the time. I'm scared of rejection, I am a crybaby when it comes to a girl not returning my feelings. But I have to be strong for me, I have to be strong for the ladies. No woman wants a man less brave than her. So I would say I'm always insecure, but I've found ways to get around it.

Like asking myself, "what's the worst that can happen? She will say no and I'll move on" things like that help become strong inside.

But back to topic of asking the ladies questions. Some girls can find your question offensive Imurann, not all, but some. Although I know quite a few that will show me them in their lingerie (but I have a girlfriend, so I don't ask them to), I think some girls will feel like, you are a perv for asking. Nothing wrong with being a perv, imo. But I'm not a girl, he he. I also enjoy seeing girls in lingerie, but once again pervy.

But I woulds like to read some females opinions. Perhaps instead of lingerie, would you ladies mind telling us about your most expensive pair of shoes, and why you bought them? (or had someone else buy them....)

i don't think it's that bad..

@imu and jigen
pm-ed something to both of you guys,,

I had a dream, was it Maaya .. was helding her hand, and touch her ring on her finger.. it was like a leaf shaped, and has feather' texture.. not sure weather it was gold.. it was greenish.. light and brass colored.. was a very short dream.. was a dreamy love love day together.. very soft hearted person..

hmm.. all that after doing the ame ga furu translations.. exhaustion probably..

purarine.. pura praline..

It's almost end of the year, anyone wants a postcard from me? sometimes do wish to make our fans-friendship a little more onto level 2, even as email and other complex system are around.. wanting to have our postcards to travel thousands of kilometers around the world to reach our friends. Drop me your mailing address (Private message)

I wonder who would still love to do this.. 2 or 3 people is also enough, we could send a postcard to each of us, it's a small thing, yet meaningful if we had one for each year..

no I'm serious, and will send them for free XD

well.. we are far apart, so I dont see any sort of harm that could ever to happen.. we'll be just wasting our years of life just without doing anything XD

the girl *i mean the one with different faith than me*, she gave me her phone number.. but she asked me not to give it to any strange man.. she asked me not to give it to anyone, in particular. so now i know she has a pretty horror moment before. i mean she was once stalked by a guy,, The guy never give up to have her asked his call.. and even come to her university. That horrific moment probably has made her a little bit of shock,, so i said, it's okay if you don't give me ur phone number if that's bothering u.. anyway, like i said, she gave me!

so jigen, kai, don't expect to know her phone number. ><
just kidding,, She's pretty anyway.. and she's popular in my company.

------

one of my biggest wish is to watch maaya live in japan! and if god doesn't fulfill this wish of me then i wish for my second wish that i'll be able to meet with all of you maaya guys *and girls* and have an all-out-night party and we will laugh and hear maaya songs together until morning arrives.. let my next dream be like that. Zzzz..

too bad, both of my wishes are nearly impossible!!

@kirei
I wish you good hunting




.. and wear some protection gloves while you're at it ..

electric shock is dangerous while setting up the cables..

XD